love

Song #52: I Will

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"Omnia vincit Amor" [Virgil]

Here we are: week 52, the sunset, the finish line, the final song. Next week I'll be back with a recap on

One Love, One Year

but this week I'm going to refrain from saying too much and let this song speak for itself. I believe these lyrics, in their almost elementary simplicity, say enough.

LYRICS:

In your youth, dear, while you are able-

young and dancing upon the tables

I will be here

I will love you

I will

 

While you serve your purpose and live your passions

And share your love light with all the masses

I'll support you

I will love you

I will

 

When you need a challenge and a firm hand

or would rather be held, let me hold your head

I will lead you

I will love you

I will

 

When you can't do it and you need some help

When our bodies slow down with ailing health

I will be there

and I will love you

I will

 

And when we're old, dear, and it all fades

And you can no longer dance upon this stage

I will carry you

I will carry you

I will

Song #50: Deranged

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"Thou art to me a delicious torment." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Most people think of love as full of light, joy and positivity. But there is a darker side, that of obsession, craving, intense desire and even torment. Not that those are "bad" things; they are in fact quite delicious... a "burning, yearning devotion" that is felt very deeply.

I don't know whether my mind was subconsciously picking up on all the spooky vibes this time of year or whether it's a cool coincidence, but the fact that Halloween is this week makes this song's lyrics and musical vibe timely and appropriate. Happy Halloween, y'all. I don't have any candy but here's a song for you...

PLAY:

LYRICS:

i am affected, call it wrecked, kid

i am obsessively, madly out of my he-ead

i'm goin' crazy, the way she slays me

i'd make u jealous if I told you how she plays me

it keeps building and building and building up,

and now the volcano's about to erupt

bewitching; she's got me wishing

for an end to all the love spells that she's dishing

 

what sort of cosmic commotion did i make to deserve this

(that) even when she's gone i am haunted by her ghost?

a boon to give my life back; resurrect my heart

she's a goddess or a demon and either way i'm toast

 

i'm not superstitious but the jist is

she is enchanting and magically delicious

where did she come from? man I don't know

maybe above... maybe below...

i'm unhinged, unzipped, unbalanced, unglued,

she drives a brother batty and I think that I'm screwed

but i like it, i'll take the pain,

even if i end up quite deranged

Song #48: Take Everything

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The essence of "Take Everything" is the offering of oneself as a gift to a partner. This could be seen as a purely sexual song, but my intentions were far wider. This type of offering isn't of the self-effacing variety that is born out of weakness - where one is depleting him/herself as a way to solicit approval. Rather it is an invitation from strength, where no matter how much is taken, one's fullness remains. That takes art and mastery, but I believe it is possible.

as deep as deep as deep as deep as you want to go

it goes down deeper, come on in, seeker

it's free, it's free, it's free, it's free, for just you alone

drink all you want to, i know that you want to

take all that you need

here lies the banquet feast

only when you're full can you leave

 

i want you to have it all

take anything

take everything

push until you've hit your wall

and see that i

have lost nothing

 

i pour and pour and pour and pour

'till you get your fill

but that doesn't phase me, it's all for your taking

so take and take and take and take

'til you can't take more

i promise you baby, won't stop 'till you're shaking

Song #47: More

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"Believe you deserve everything you dream about." -Anon

This track is yet another change in pace - a sensual, haunting downtempo piece about receiving more than you can ask or imagine.

PLAY:

LYRICS:

is it too bold to say

my life has been changed

all from the way

that you have made me believe?

it makes no sense to pray

when something so great

something I can't explain

is more than this mind could conceive

 

is there more?

pick me off the floor

could I take any more?

i can't wait to see

 

what i see you see

when i breathe you breathe

when i take the lead

you melt right into me

could you tell me again

where i end, where you begin

and i can't believe

it's happening

 

is there more?

pick me off the floor

could I take any more?

i can't wait to see

Song #46: Whatever the Dream

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"Life is just a funny dream,

and someday I'll share this dream with you..."

[Trey Anastasio, Ether Sunday

This week I had the pleasure of cowriting with friend/manager/bandmate Tom Crenshaw, reworking one of his poems into a psychadelic, George Harrison-esque song of hope, cycles and new beginnings.

*Painting by Marc Chagall

PLAY:

LYRICS:

I've been trying to find you,

trying to find you

You've been trying to find me,

trying to find me

All that I'm searching for - is searching for me

trust and we'll see

 

There's a season to come

a season to come

Rain, it follows the sun

follows the sun

Sunshine follows the rain, night into day

trust in this way

 

And if I had dreamed this differently

would it be any easier to believe?

 

Let whatever may come

whatever may come

Dream whatever the dream

whatever the dream

Close and yet far away, near as the end

to where we begin...

 

And if I had dreamed this differently

would it be any easier to believe?

Song #45: Fireball

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I knew that I had come face to face with someone whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art itself.
[Oscar Wilde]

PLAY:

LYRICS:

There are thousands of beautiful girls, thousands of shallow pools,

but with her it's different, with her - she's endlessly cool

I think about her all of the time, I recognize the worth in her eyes

And each time we connect we go deeper than we thought we could

 

She's a fireball, a tempest storm, but I won't quit, no

'Cause I am up for the challenge, gonna show her I can handle it

So let's go, let's go

 

I had started to lose faith in the world,

didn't think that it made this kind of girl

But then she came out of nowhere and changed up all of the rules

It is gonna take a strong kind of man,

To stand firm while she does her dance

And while others couldn't make it, I am gonna prove that I can

 

She's a fireball, a tempest storm, but I won't quit, no

'Cause I am up for the challenge, gonna show her I can handle it

So let's go, let's go

 

I'm longing

to know her heart, to love her flaws,

to touch her body, to shatter her walls

I am all the way in, I won't flinch,

she's worth the fight, she's worth my time,

when you're given a gift, you treat it right

 

She's a fireball, a tempest storm, but I won't quit, no

'Cause I am up for the challenge, gonna show her I can handle it

So let's go, what are we waiting for?

Song #42: Disappear

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"A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain."
[Abraham Cowley]

LYRICS:

Look at me,

I've got my shit together

I am a winner, a picture of health

but what no one sees deep below the surface

is a cavern, the cold hard walls of a well

 

For a time I was better, well on my way

A little bit stronger, a little more life each day

But all the momentum I thought I had gained

slows to a halt when someone speaks your name

 

Sometimes I wish you'd disappear

So maybe I could find peace this year

But I know as sure as I sit here

That I don't mean it

 

When you both live in the same small town

You can't help but see each other around

I have that old crusty wound that almost heals

But then I catch your eyes and it all at once starts to peel

 

Sometimes I wish you'd disappear

So maybe I could find peace this year

But I know as sure as I sit here

That I don't mean it

 

As much as I would like to move on,

it ain't happening

But if I can pretend that you're gone,

there's a respite from all the battling in my mind

 

Sometimes I wish you'd disappear

So maybe, maybe I could find peace this year

But I know as sure as I sit here

That I don't mean it

 

...but most times I wish you'd just appear

And wreck all of my plans for this year

Cause when I said my love was sincere 

Well, I still mean it

Song #40: (Stay In Your) Embrace

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"Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you."

[Jacques Prévert, poet/screenwriter]

As Mr. Prévert says, there is nothing quite like the closeness and intimacy found in lingering in timeless, affectionate embraces. Still, at some point you've gotta get up and get back to living. This song suggests the romantic notion that even though apart, you're still held in that person's embrace.

The lyrics this week were co-written by writer/actor/artist (and good friend) Benjamin Madrid, whose poem (Stay In Your Embrace) provided the inspiration - and many of the lines - for this song.

Musically this track is a throw-back to the 80's radio pop ballads that many of us grew up with (a la Genesis / Phil Collins / Peter Gabriel). It just might transport you back to 1986 if you're not careful...

PLAY:

LYRICS:

Sometimes in your embrace

I leave my body and walk outside,

Peer in the window, watch us lying face to face

Faded lines remain where the tears have dried

 

I could take that scene anywhere

The room could change all over

the outside of it too

Another house, another city, it doesn't matter, there's you

The distances between are only lies

 

Let's get to dancing

We can't always lay around

But now that I know what I have found

I'll walk the wire and not look down

As long as I can still

Stay in your embrace

 

We can let the aging take it's toll

Watch my hair turn grey, I'll watch your skin turn old

Another time, another setting, it doesn't matter I'm told

When you're hanging on so tight you can't let go