unrequited

Song #42: Disappear

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"A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain."
[Abraham Cowley]

LYRICS:

Look at me,

I've got my shit together

I am a winner, a picture of health

but what no one sees deep below the surface

is a cavern, the cold hard walls of a well

 

For a time I was better, well on my way

A little bit stronger, a little more life each day

But all the momentum I thought I had gained

slows to a halt when someone speaks your name

 

Sometimes I wish you'd disappear

So maybe I could find peace this year

But I know as sure as I sit here

That I don't mean it

 

When you both live in the same small town

You can't help but see each other around

I have that old crusty wound that almost heals

But then I catch your eyes and it all at once starts to peel

 

Sometimes I wish you'd disappear

So maybe I could find peace this year

But I know as sure as I sit here

That I don't mean it

 

As much as I would like to move on,

it ain't happening

But if I can pretend that you're gone,

there's a respite from all the battling in my mind

 

Sometimes I wish you'd disappear

So maybe, maybe I could find peace this year

But I know as sure as I sit here

That I don't mean it

 

...but most times I wish you'd just appear

And wreck all of my plans for this year

Cause when I said my love was sincere 

Well, I still mean it

Song #14: It's Ok

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I've always found it odd to see a couple who were once crazy for one another grow to become enemies in the end. No doubt there are often real reasons for that, but just as often that rage is simply a defense mechanism. After all, if a scorned lover's feelings are not reciprocated, it's easier to demonize the other person than to live with the pain of rejection.

Thankfully at this point in my life, this isn't my personal reality. But I really had fun this week climbing into this character's shoes and stirring up some longing mixed with gritty vindictiveness.  And for some reason with this theme I felt the need to set it to a 60's R&B style - complete with flute and strings.

Waiter, I'll have a plate of Unrequited Love with a side of Bitterness. ;-)

PLAY:

 

LYRICS:

it's ok, I get it

this is all for the best

we're just growing in different directions

it is what it is... (I guess...)

you deserve to be happy (you tell me all the time)

I deserve to be blessed

we'll just do that in separate locations

from now on... (I guess...)

 

you have given me your thousand reasons why

we should now give up the fight

but I... oh I

 

I don't know how to give up on you

I just can't put this love up on a shelf as if I'm through

but I guess that it's time to tell you goodbye

thanks for making that easy to do

 

no it's ok I'm not bitter

I'm ok, can't you tell?

(it's just the fruit of your vine makes me break out in hives,

and with each passing day I get colder as well)

 

see I have learned that just to get by

to only look at those things that I don't like

 

I don't know how to give up on you

I just can't put this love up on a shelf as if I'm through

but I guess that it's time to tell you goodbye

'cause you're making that easy to do

 

it's ok, I get it

I'm ok, can't you tell?