reflection

Song #10: I See You Sitting There

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"A child's spirit is like a child, you can never catch it by running after it; you must stand still, and, for love, it will soon itself come back."

(Arthur Miller)

One Saturday afternoon I was watching my five-year-old daughter playing and realized I had never written a song for her. I grabbed my guitar and a pen and "I See You Sitting There" was written right there on the spot.

NOTE: I'm cheating a bit on my rule of writing one NEW song each week, as I wrote this piece several months ago. When I initially finished this, I shared it with a few of my close friends, but am now finally releasing it publicly since I've been on vacation for the holidays.

PLAY:

 LYRICS:

I see you sitting there

In your painted chair

You've got your dolls out

Fingers in your mouth

I see you sitting there

In your ballet tights,

it's almost time to say goodnight

 

And when I catch your eyes 

I can see that life's worthwhile

Couldn't be more proud of you

And your precious smile

 

I never knew I could fall in love

so quickly, so fiercely with someone

You are my favorite blessing from God

 

I see you dancing there

Twirling around the chairs

It nearly makes me cry

You got your mama's eyes

And your pretty face

Is lighting up the room

 

I know it's cliche to say it:

But I don't know when you got so big

Makes me want to hold on to just this moment

It too will go with the wind

 

I never knew I could fall in love

so quickly, so fiercely with someone

You are my favorite blessing from God

 

Sweetheart when you get older,

I will still remember all these times

 

I see you lying there

You got your PJs on

One foot hanging out

From that ratty old blanket you drag along

I say a prayer for you

And kiss you on the head

 

I never knew I could fall in love

so quickly, so fiercely with someone

You are my favorite blessing from God

Song #6: The Attic

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"Anything worthwhile takes effort."

One of the easiest traps to fall into in life is that slow disintegration into drifting. You know what I mean: it's that place of cruise-control, of reacting instead of acting, of going through the motions. Unless we consciously intend to live and love "on purpose", gravity tends to pulls us into that old sinkhole time and again.

Sometimes we're fortunate enough to get a wake-up call - whether that comes from some sort of internal a-ha moment or perhaps more commonly from an unexpected outside event. In "The Attic", the narrator has just such an experience after stumbling across a box of momentos that had been tucked away.

Musically, this song is a bit unorthodox and experimental. It doesn't follow a normal song format, nor does it really have a hook or even a real chorus. Maybe we could best describe it as "a short story set to music."

PLAY:

LYRICS:

brown banged up boxes,

all taped and stacked up

pull one to the ground

and blow off the dust

let's see what I can find...

 

well, here's that old album

with pictures of us

and scraps of old letters

professing our love

the remnants of a life

 

I can see what we had

but look how I've been

I guess I just didn't feel prepared for this

It's all passing me by

 

it's said, life is what happens while we make our plans

remember when we said we'd always hold hands?

(but) the urgent trumped the day, and exhaustion, the night

 

my God, I have been entrusted with so very much

it's lovely and good but I didn't keep up

somewhere we got lost and failed to try

 

I can see what we had

but I know what I've been

I guess I just didn't feel prepared for this

somewhere I got lost and failed to try

----

well no more, no more

from here on I put my best foot forward

I don't want to take you for granted

well no more, no more

it's time that my own heart I restore

I don't want to take you for granted, again

 

tonight when I see you I'm gonna ask you to dance

and show you I still have the time for romance

I'm still amazed and you should know it

 

so I restack the box and climb back down the stairs

and find myself grateful for all that we've shared

you have my heart and it's past time I show it

Song #2: Alone

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"One is the loneliest number..."

What I find most interesting about "Alone" is not the way in which the character "uses" love, but that he's self-aware enough to be doing so consciously. A rather somber exploration of isolation, loneliness and loss of identity.

PLAY: 

LYRICS:

One love that started to fade

He moved towards her and she moved further away

Now he's left standing

He's never known himself all alone

When she's gone, he doesn't know

who he is 

 

"I loved you for who that made me

And I know that that's not healthy

Oh God, no... it seems I don't like me

when I'm left standing alone"

 

As long as there's her, it masks all the pain

Devious voices inside, they whisper his name

In deafening silence

Now without, his head in his hands,

Forced to peek inside  

at the dragons within

 

"I loved all them because they saved me

And I know that that's not healthy

But still though, I need them to like me

  I can't stand being alone"

 

Now what is this?

New eyes look his way

He feels again, his worth from within

He's got his fix, there's fire in his veins

He knows again he's claimed

And everything's OK

 

"I love you because you'll take me

And I know that that's not healthy

But just hold me and don't you leave me

Anything but just not alone"